TED演講的英文範文

20歲光陰不再來

When I was in my 20s,I saw my very first psychotherapy(心理診療) client.I was a Ph.D. student in clinical psychology(臨牀心理學) at was a 26-year-old woman named Alex walked into her first session

wearing jeans and a big slouchy(寬鬆的) top,and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats and told me she was there to talk about guy when I heard this,I was so classmate got an

arsonist(縱火犯) for her first I got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys. This I thought I could I didn't handle the funny stories that Alex would bring to session,it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road."Thirty's the new 20,"Alex would say,and as far as I could tell,she was happened later,marriage happened later,kids happened later,even death happened

tysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but before

long,my supervisor(導師) pushed me to push Alex about her love life.I pushed back.I said,"Sure,she's dating down,"(她的對象很差勁) she's sleeping with a knucklehead(傻瓜),but it's not like she's going to marry the guy."And then my supervisor said,"Not yet,but she might marry the next des,the best time to work on Alex's marriage is before she has one.(結婚之前)"That's what psychologists call an "Aha!"moment(頓悟時刻) was the moment I realized,30 is not the new ,people settle down later than they used to,but that didn't make Alex's 20s a developmental downtime.(沒錯，現在人們結婚的年齡比以前大一些，但這並沒有使Alex的20歲成爲發展的擱淺期。)That made Alex's 20s a developmental sweet spot,and we were sitting there

blowing(揮霍) was when I realized that this sort of benign neglect(善意的忽視)was a real problem,and it had real consequences,not just for Alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of

twentysometings e are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right 're talking about 15 percent of the population,or 100 percent if you consider that no one's getting through adulthood without going through their 20s first.(都要先經歷過他們的20歲才能進入成年)If you work with twentysomthings,you love a twentysomething,you're losing sleep over twentysomethings,I want to ome,twentysometings

really I specialize in twentysomethings because I believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists,sociologists,neurologists and fertility specialists already know:that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest,yet most

transformative,things you can do for work,for love,for your happiness,maybe even for the is not my e are the know that 80 percent of life's most defining moments take place by age means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and experiences and "Aha!"moments that

make your life what it is will have happened by your know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money

you're going to konw that more than half of Americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by know that the brain caps

off its second and last growth spurt(高峯) in your 20s as it rewires(開啓…模式) itself for adulthood,which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself,now is the time to change know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life,and we know that female fertility peaks(生育能力高峯) at age 28,and things get tricky after age your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your when we think about child development,we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the 's a time when your

ordinary,day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will what we hear less about is that there's such a thing as adult development,and our 20s are the critical period of adult this isn't what twentysomethings are hearing.(但是很少有人告訴20多歲的人這些

話。)Newspapers talk about the changing timetable of archers call the 20s an ectended adolescence(青春的延長期)nalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like "twixters"(夾在中間者) and "kidults"（成年孩子） a culture,we have trivialized(習慣忽視) what is actually the defining decade of ard Bernstein said that to achieve great things,you need a plan and not quit enough what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the head and you say,"You have 10 extra years to start your life"Nothing have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition,and absolutely nothing then every

day,smart,interesting twentysomethings like you or like your sons and

daughters come into my office and say things like this:"I know my boyfriend's no good for me,but this relationship doesn't count.I'm just killing time."Or they say,"Everybody says as long as I get star

ted on a career by the time I'm 30,I'll be fine."But then is starts to sound like this:"My 20s are almost over,and I have nothing to show for myself.I had a better resume the day after I graduated from college."And then it starts to sound like this:"Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs(搶椅子)ybody was running around and having fun,but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down.I didn't want to be the only one left standing up,so sometimes I think I married my husband,because he was the closest chair to me to 30."Do not do ,now that sounds a little flip,but make no mistake,the

stakes(風險) are very a lot has been pushed to your 30s,there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career,pick a city,partner up(結婚),and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of of those things are incompatible(互不相容的),and as research is just starting to show,simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our

post-millennial midlife crisis(千禧年後的中年危機) isn't by a red sports 's realizing you can't have that career you now 's realizing you can't have that child you now want,or you can give your child a sibling(姊妹) many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves,and at me,sitting across the room and say about their 20s,"What was I doingWhat was I thinking"I want to change what twentysomethings are doing and

's a story about how that can 's a story about a woman named 25,Emma came to my office because she was,in her

words,having an identity said she thought she might like to work in art or entertainment,but she hadn't decided yet,so she'd spent the last few years waiting tables use it was cheaper,she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his as hard as her 20s were,her early life had been even often cried in our sessions,but then would collect(安慰) herself by saying,“You can't pick your family,but you can pick your friends.”Well one day,Emma comes in,and she hangs her head in her lap,and she sobbed for most of the 'd just bought a new address book,and she'd spend the morning filling in her many contacts,but then she'd been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words"In case of emergency,please call…."She was nearly hysterical(歇斯底里) when she looked at me and said,“Who's going to be there for me if I get in a car

wreckWho's going to take care of me if I have cancer”Now in that moment,it took everything I had not to say,"I will."But what Emma needed wasn't some therapist(心理醫師) who really,really needed a better life,and I knew this was her chance.I had learned too much since I first worked with Alex to just sit there while Emma's defining decade went parading over the next weeks and months,I told Emma,three things that every

twentysomething,male or female,deserves to t,I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital(身份資本) get identity capital,I mean do something that adds value to who you

something that's an investment(投資) in who you might want to be next.I didn't know the future of Emma's career,and no one knows the future of work,but I do know this:Identity capital begets identity capital.(身份資本會成爲身份的資本) So now is the time for that cross-country job,that internship,that startup you want to try.I'm not discounting twentysomething exploration here,but I am discounting exploration that's not supposed to count(我是在勸誡你們不要做無謂的探索),which,by the way,is not exploration,That's procrastination(拖延).I told Emma to explore work and make it nd,I told Emma that the urban tribe is overrated(不要坐井觀天) friends are great for giving rides to the airport,but twentysomethings who huddle together(交往) with like-minded peers limit who they know,what they think,how they speak,and where they new piece of capital,that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner things come from what are called our weak ties(新事物來自於我們所謂的弱關係),our friends of friends of yes,half of twentysomethings are un- or half aren't,and weak ties are how you get yourself into that group.(弱關係就是你進入那個羣體的.途徑)Half of new jobs are never posted,so reaching out to your neighbor's boss,is how you get that un-posted job.(有一半的新工作是沒有招聘資訊的，所以去問你鄰居的老闆，是你得到那個沒有招聘資訊的工作的方法。)It's not

's the science of how information spreads.(這不是走後門，資訊就是這樣傳播的)Last but not least,Emma believed that you can't pick your

family,but you can pick your this was true for her growing up,but as a twentysomething,soon Emma would pick her famile when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own.I told Emma the time to start picking your family is you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20,or even 25,and I agree with grabbing

whoever you're living with or sleeping with when everyone on Facebook starts walking down the aisle(婚姻的殿堂) is not progress(是行不通的) best time to work on your marriage is before you have one,and that means being as intentional with love as you are with ing your family is about

consciously(理智地) choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing what happened to went through that address book,and she found an old roommate's cousin who worked at an art museum in another weak tie helped her get a job job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in ,five years later,she's a special events planner for 's married to a man she mindfully(謹慎地) loves her new career,she loves her new family,and she sent me a card that said,"Now the emergency contact blanks don't seem big enough."Now Emma's story made that sound easy,but that's what I love about working with

are so easy to tysomethings are like airplanes just leaving LAX,bound for somewhere t after takeoff,a slight change in course is the difference between landing in Alaska or wise,at 21 or 25 or even 29,one good conversation,one good

break,one good TED Talk,can have an enormous effect across years and even generations to here's an idea worth spreading to every

twentysomething you 's as simple as what I learned to say to 's what I now have the privilege of saying to twentysomethings like Emma every single day:Thirty is not the new 20,so claim your adulthood,get some identity capital,use your weak ties，pick your family.(30歲不是一個新的20歲，所以認清你的成年期，獲得一些身份資本，利用你的不那麼直接的關係，選擇你的家人。)Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do.(不要被你不知道的或是沒有做過的事所限制)You're deciding your life right now.